Ladies and Gentlemen, My Name is Paul Heyman

Paul Heyman

DVD Release Date: August 5, 2014

MATCH #1: The Original Midnight Express vs. The New Midnight Express, Main Event, 1.21.89

Paul E. Dangerously’s Original Midnight Express is Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey, while Jim Cornette is managing Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane. The match starts off as a big brawl, but the referee is able to get it under control. Rose and Lane start the match with some back and forth, and when Rose tries to bail to the floor, Cornette whacks him with his tennis racket. Back in the ring Cornette’s duo continues to set the pace and focus on Rose. Eventually Condrey gets the unceremonious tag. Eaton chases after Dangerously for fun, bringing the match to a halt. They pick it up again with a crisscross and when Condrey goes after Cornette he gets cracked in the mouth by Lane. Back in the ring the Original duo is able to take control for the first time, and they isolate Lane and go to work on him. After several minutes Lane makes the tag but the referee was distracted and didn’t see it so he won’t allow it. Lane catches Condrey charging in with a Superkick and finally the hot tag is made for real. Eaton goes up top and hits an elbow drop on Condrey, and he beats up Rose as well. Lane and Eaton hit Condrey with the Flapjack, but the referee is distracted by Rose and Lane brawling and doesn’t make the cover. In all the confusion, Condrey is able to hit Eaton with a foreign object to get the pin at 14:40. It took a little while for this one to get going, but it was solid stuff. Not sure why this made the DVD rather than the six-man tag with Cornette and Dangerously as participants, that would have made more sense than a random TV match.
Rating: ***

MATCH #2: Hardy Boys vs. Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman, Judgment Day, 5.19.02

Matt and Jeff attack Lesnar before he can even get to the ring. They turn their attention to Heyman, but Lesnar recovers and clotheslines both Hardys. Lesnar focuses on Jeff, whom he destroyed last month at Backlash. Matt tries his hand but doesn’t fare much better. After getting tossed around a bit Matt is able to hit a tornado DDT. Jeff tags in and hits the Whisper in the Wind. He follows with the chinbreaker, and then the Hardys hit the dueling legdrops. Poetry in Motion follows and then they dump Lesnar to the floor. The Hardys once again chase Heyman and they’re able to hit him with Poetry in Motion. Lesnar pulls Matt to the floor and takes him out. Jeff is on the top rope and Lesnar catches him on the way down, but Jeff is able to fall back on top for a two-count. Lesnar gets back to his feet and throws Jeff into Matt on the apron, sending Matt down to the floor. He then hits Jeff with the F-5. Heyman begs to be tagged in so he can score the pin at 4:47. That was fun enough for the time it got. Few things were as fun in 2002 WWE as watching Brock Lesnar manhandle Jeff Hardy.
Rating: **¼

MATCH #3: No Disqualification Handicap Elimination Match – CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel & Paul Heyman, Night of Champions, 9.15.13

Punk and Axel start off swinging their respective kendo sticks, and Punk takes the first advantage. With Axel down for a minute, Punk surprises everyone by hitting a suicide dive on Heyman! Punk brings Heyman into the ring and appears ready to hit him with the kendo stick but Axel rescues his advisor with a blatant low blow. Axel beats on Punk with the stick for a bit, and when Punk comes back and tries a chair, Axel cuts him off with a dropkick for two. Heyman seems to enjoy watching Axel decimate Punk. Axel brings a table into the ring and props it up in the corner. Nothing comes of that yet, but Punk is able to fight back and throw Axel into a chair that had been previously wedged between the top and middle turnbuckles. Axel crawls back in the ring and Punk unleashes a flurry of offense. Punk goes up top and Axel rolls to the floor. When Punk goes for a dive Axel gets a chair up in his face! Back in the ring Axel covers for two. Axel beats on Punk with the kendo stick but still can’t put him away. Punk is able to power up and hit Axel with the kendo stick. He follows with Go to Sleep and then locks on the Anaconda Vise! Axel taps out at 10:30! That means Heyman is alone with Punk! Heyman is terrified and he tries to run away. Punk chases him through the arena and finally gets his hands on him inside the ring. Heyman takes a brutal beating and Punk puts him in handcuffs. Punk destroys Heyman with a kendo stick, and looks ready to give him one final kill shot. Then for some reason Ryback runs out and rams Punk through the table that had been set up by Axel earlier. Ryback puts Heyman on top of Punk and the referee makes the three-count at 15:42. No one bought Axel as a threat, so while the first 10 minutes or so weren’t bad, everyone was just waiting for Punk to get his hands on Heyman, which he did. The match then found a way to keep the feud going, but I really don’t think anyone was dying to see Punk versus Ryback again. Oh well. All in all the match was fine for what it was.
Rating: **¾

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About Jake Ziegler

I've been in love with the movies for almost 20 years. I follow the Oscars obsessively, and try to see as many movies a year as I can. I'll watch anything good bad or otherwise, and my life long dream job has always been to be a bona fide film critic. View all posts by Jake Ziegler

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