WWE Divas Desert Heat

Divas Desert Heat

DVD Release Date: April 15, 2003

MATCH #1: Trick or Treat Match – Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie, SmackDown!, 10.31.02

The “match” is taking place in a pool that looks to be filled with a chocolate milk like liquid. Dawn is dressed like a cop and Torrie like Xena or something. If you look real closely you can see me in the audience looking bored. There are also some pies and stuff out there for some reason. They start throwing food at each other and roll around in the pool. The referee gets pulled in of course. Torrie actually hits a suplex. She then rips Dawn’s shirt off and chokes her with it. They chop each other and then roll around on the referee. Torrie chops Dawn and she falls out of the pool, which is enough for Torrie to get the pin. Thank goodness Michael Cole was there to explain that Falls Count Anywhere. This was total garbage.
Rating: DUD

MATCH #2: Santa’s Little Helper Match – Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus & Jacqueline vs. Victoria, Ivory & Molly Holly, RAW, 12.23.02

The match starts with all six divas in the ring brawling. Molly and Stacy wind up in the ring and Stacy distracts Molly with her ass and then hits a spin kick for two. Molly makes the tag to Victoria, the current Women’s Champion. Victoria’s team isolates Stacy, which is wise given she has the least experience amongst her team members. Stacy avoids a charge in the corner and makes the hot tag to Jacqueline, who comes in a house afire. Molly knees her in the back from the apron, so Jacqueline goes outside and pulls her off the apron. Ivory tries to come to the rescue but she gets taken out too. Back in the ring Victoria goes back on offense. Victoria hits the slingshot flipping legdrop for two. Jacqueline overcomes the triple teaming and escapes from the corner to make the tag. Trish hits Ivory with the Stratusphere and the match breaks down. Stacy pulls Molly’s Santa costume off and they take the fight outside the ring. Trish hits Ivory with the Stratusfaction and Jacqueline hits Victoria with a tornado DDT for the simultaneous pin at 3:32. That was short but the energy level was high and five of the six women out there are solid workers.
Rating: *¾

MATCH #3: Valentine’s Day Bra & Panties Match – Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie, SmackDown!, 2.13.03

Torrie meets Dawn in the aisle to start the fight but that proves to be a mistake. Dawn takes the early control and removes Torrie’s shirt pretty quickly. She chokes Torrie with the shirt. Dawn then misses a charge in the corner and Torrie almost gets her pants off. They spill to the floor and Torrie throws Dawn around. Back in the ring Torrie successfully removes Dawn’s shirt. Torrie hits a suplex and tries to remove Dawn’s pants. Dawn fights her off and puts Torrie on her shoulders. That turns into the fish out of water spot, which is stupid because there are no pinfalls in a Bra & Panties Match. Dawn actually hits a turnaround clothesline off the second rope, which looked pretty good. She follows with a bodyslam and goes up top. Torrie stops her and this time is able to pull her pants off for the win at 3:28. Call me crazy but Dawn showed off some pretty good moves there. This is probably one of the better Bra & Panties matches out there, whatever that’s worth.
Rating: *¼

MATCH #4: Lingerie Pillow Fight – Terri vs. Stacy Keibler, RAW, 9.2.02

Jerry Lawler is the ring announcer, referee, and live commentator for this all-important contest. Stacy tries to seduce Lawler right off the bat, which Terri doesn’t take too kindly to. The women start hitting each other with pillows and teddy bears. There’s also a bed set up in the ring that they roll around on. Stacy goes outside the ring and finds absolutely nothing. She goes back inside and bodyslams Terri on the bed. Ouch. Stacy loads up a pillow case with an alarm clock but Terri avoids it and hits a dropkick off the bed. Terri hits the Bronco Buster and then climbs up to the second rope. Stacy pulls her down but Terri falls on top (with a little help from the King) and she gets the huge win at 1:44. Imagine what George Clooney would say about this.
Rating: DUD

MATCH #5: Bra & Panties Paddle-on-a-Pole Match for the Women’s Championship – Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler, RAW, 10.7.02

Trish has been the Champion since 9.22.02, and this is her third defense. How can the Women’s Title not be seen as prestigious when it’s contested in matches like this? Stacy attacks before the bell. She’s hungry for Championship gold. Stacy chokes Trish in the corner with her foot and then tries to take her shirt off but is unsuccessful. Trish fights back with chops and kicks. She goes for the Stratusfaction but Stacy pushes her into the corner and is able to remove her shirt. Stacy celebrates and Trish is able to take her shirt off. We’re all even now. Stacy hits a spin kick and goes for the pants, but Trish reverses it and removes Stacy’s to get the win at 2:20. So the paddle didn’t come into play at all. Not that it would have made this match any better or whatever.
Rating: ½*

MATCH #6: Bikini Match – Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia, Velocity, 10.26.02

Try to follow the rules of a bikini match with me here – the women wrestle the match while wearing bikinis. That’s it. They lock up and Nidia goes after the arm. They take it down to the mat briefly but then things get heated when Nidia delivers a slap. Torrie executes a catapult in return for a two-count. Nidia hits a clothesline and tries a bodyslam but Torrie counters to an inside cradle for two. Torrie unleashes a flurry of clotheslines and then hits a neckbreaker for two. Nidia swats away a dropkick and puts the boots to Torrie. She drives knees to the midsection and hits a suplex for two. Nidia stays on offense and looks confident. Torrie caches her with a drop toehold into the bottom rope. Torrie then slides to the floor and slaps Nidia across the face. Back in the ring Nidia cuts Torrie off with a clothesline for two. Torrie comes back with some kicks and chops. Nidia tries a charge in the corner but Torrie jumps over her and gets an O’Connor Roll for the pin. You know, outside of the fact that they were wrestling in bikinis this was a perfectly decent women’s match.
Rating: *½

MATCH #7: Triple-Threat Women’s Championship Match – Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly vs. Jacqueline, RAW, 10.28.02

Trish has been the Champion since 9.22.02, and this is her fifth defense. All three women are in the ring at the same time. Trish hits Jacqueline with a Thesz Press but she and Jacqueline quickly decide to double-team Molly. The wily veteran Jacqueline tries to surprise Trish with a rollup but only gets two. Jacqueline locks on a half crab and Molly puts a half crab on as well. I’d say that equals one full crab. Jacqueline and Molly slug it out as Victoria looks on from backstage. Molly hits the handspring elbow and puts Jacqueline on the top rope. Trish pulls Molly down and then tries the Stratusphere but Jacqueline counters with a Tornado DDT for two. Jacqueline counters a Molly suplex to an inside cradle for two. She gets a backslide for another two-count. Molly hits a drop toehold into the bottom rope and then lands a dropkick to the face. She follows up with a backbreaker Molly turns her attention to the Champion, but gets hit with the Stratusfaction for her troubles. Trish is also able to grab Jacqueline on the way down, and then gets the pin on Molly at 2:33. The match was fine but whatever, but man that finish was way cool and they timed it perfectly.
Rating: *

MATCH #8: Women’s Championship Chicago Street Fight – Victoria vs. Trish Stratus, RAW, 1.27.03

Victoria has been the Champion since 11.17.02, and this is her fifth defense. She attacks Trish on the ramp during her entrance with a kendo stick and drags her to ringside to choke her. That’s a great start. Trish reverses and fights back. She tries to whip Victoria into the steps but Victoria reverses and Trish crashes into the steps. Victoria and her man friend Stevie Richards celebrate briefly before Victoria goes back on the attack. She throws Trish into the crowd, but Trish responds with a kick to the face and a clothesline off the barricade for a two-count. Apparently this is also Falls Count Anywhere. Victoria fights back and throws Trish into the ring. She hits the slingshot flipping legdrop for two. Victoria misses a charge in the corner and her shoulders cracks against the ring post. Trish goes under the ring for some plunder and blasts Victoria in the face with a trash can lid. She gets two more lids and smashes them together on Victoria’s head. Trish sets up a trash can in the corner and appears to be going for a catapult but Victoria hits her with a trash can lid. Victoria puts Trish under the can in the corner and catapults her face first into it. She continues to abuse Trish with a trash can lid and covers for two. She goes to the second rope but Trish hits her with a lid and then connects with the Stratusphere for a near-fall. Trish kicks Victoria to the floor and follows her out with a Thesz Press. Back in the ring Trish hits a neckbreaker for a two-count. Stevie tries to interfere with a fire extinguisher but sprays it in Victoria’s face by accident. Trish kicks Stevie down to the floor and levels Victoria with the Chick Kick. Stevie makes the save. Trish makes him pay for it with a kendo stick. That gives Victoria the chance to nail a superkick but it only gets two! Trish goes for Stratusfaction but Stevie helps block it and send Trish to the floor. Victoria follows her out and gets the pin at 5:40. These two were great opponents and they really took it to each other – nothing looked weak or girly. They probably could have gone longer and done even better.
Rating: ***


About Jake Ziegler

I've been in love with the movies for almost 20 years. I follow the Oscars obsessively, and try to see as many movies a year as I can. I'll watch anything good bad or otherwise, and my life long dream job has always been to be a bona fide film critic. View all posts by Jake Ziegler

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